Satire: Sri Lankan Players Ask SLC Not To Stage Any Series Against India; Virat Kohli Fears Loss Of Captaincy

Note: This is a piece of satire for fun and should be taken in the same jest.

Sri Lankan players have requested the Sri Lanka Cricket Board (SLC) not to stage any international series against India in the month of November-December. The prime reason for them pleading in front of their board is that Indian players, in a quest to impress their wives and fiancees, are just manhandling their bowlers.

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It is to be noted that when Rohit Sharma scored his third double century, recently, it was his second marriage anniversary. Virat Kohli, who scored three back to back centuries in Tests series – which included two double centuries –  was all set to get married in a few days and was doing so to impress his fiancee, as per the Sri Lankan players,

“Not just India, we have planned to request our board not to organise any series against any of the teams whose players are getting married in that month or celebrate their anniversary in that period. Their celebrations are proving quite costly to us,” Thisara Pereas, Sri Lanka skipper told reporters after second T20I.

Meanwhile, the Sri Lankan government has announced a cash prize of Rs 1 Crore for Dushmantha Chameera for dismissing Rohit Sharma in yesterday’s match.

Rohit was on his way to maiden T20I 200 before he got out. Though Chameera is getting praise for dismissing him the reality is that his wife was waiting for Rohit in the VIP box to click a selfie and upload on social media. Rohit, soon after getting out, also indicated Ravi Shastri to send MS Dhoni to come out. His actions took away the interest of people from his dismissal.

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In the other world, Virat Kohli has decided to play the last game of the T20I series. The newly wedded player has reportedly asked BCCI to arrange a jersey and kit for him so as he could play the last game in Mumbai, the same place where his marriage reception will take place. He fears that he might lose his captaincy if Rohit scores another century,

“Shaadi waadi to hoti rahegi bhai lekin captaani gayi to wapis nahi ayegi. Modi ji se recption wale din baat kari to hai hai maine lekin Modi ji ne bhi yahi kaha ki Sharma ji ladke zayada talented hote hai,” Virat said.

It is still not sure whether it would be Rohit who would lead the side in the last game or will Kohli get his job back as captain.

The COA of BCCI is all set to ask Justice Lodha to find a solution for the matter in Lodha recommendations, prosed by him. The matter could also be well solved by a coin toss or a super over between team Kohli, led by Ravi Shastri and team Rohit, led by Anil Kumble.

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Video of the day –